“Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position. But certainty is an absurd one.” —Voltaire.
“I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it’s much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong.” —Richard Feynman
___
One the most challenging aspect of life is uncertainty. Every day carries an element of not-knowing; it is fundamental to life. The economic, environmental and political ebbs and flows that feel entirely beyond our control are a constant downward pressure that we face every day. Uncertainty can breed anxiety, but it can also inspire possibility.
Within the realm of uncertainty, we are called to create meaning, stability and order. Two events this past week have me reflecting on the nature of how we manage the uncertainty of life and the ways in which the seemingly negative force of uncertainty can become a nuclear power plant for action and positive effort for the good.
First, my Dad celebrated his 91st birthday this week! Way to go Bill! On our call yesterday, we covered a range of the usual topics, but what struck me the most was his attitude and energy. The way he has navigated so much uncertainty in the later stages of his life has been impressive. In recent years, he lost his wife of 30 years to suicide. It was a tragedy that no one saw coming and I honestly don’t know how he managed to navigate the acute phase following that loss. She was his everything.
But with every passing week, month and year, he has managed to slowly find his footing again. His independence and his ability to take care of himself following the loss has been a core part of his strength and self-sufficient approach to this final chapter of his life. I don’t think it’s fair to say that the loss created structure and meaning, but his response to the uncertainty following the loss gave him the strength to be self-sufficient and he has carried that into all of the uncertainty that has followed.
And the second event this week centers around Kathleen. For more than 5 years, she has been battling her cancer. This week has been the toughest week she has faced since her diagnosis. And by extension, it has been one of the toughest weeks for me. The new treatment she started about 10 days ago has had some really awful side effects. Add to that, the current back drop of the bone metastasis that has continued to progress in her spine, femur and sternum. As the cancer is continuing to invade, the line of defense—the medication—that is supposed to stem the tide is instead wreaking havoc on her system.
The uncertainty that we live with every single day with her diagnosis is tough. No doubt. However, the constant uncertainty around Kathleen’s health and how it will all unfold has brought us to the only place where life happens: the now. And when you fully enter the present moment with no real energy going to the unknown future, there is a shift. And in that shift, when you starve the pain body of uncertainty, there is room for an emotional opening where all the good stuff is found.
And once you surrender to the moment, you now have a natural fuel source for the big engine of gratitude. It is only in complete surrender to the reality at hand that the resistance and doubt fades which naturally gives rise to acceptance and gratitude. When the engine of gratitude is running your life on a day to day basis, there is very little space for wasted energy trying to control everything. There is freedom there. When you focus your energy on things you can control you move into a creative mind set: grateful for what is and at peace with what is not.
Have a great week brotha!
